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Hello and welcome to episode #13 of The Mom-entum Podcast, the show dedicated to inspiring, uplifting and empowering women on their journey through motherhood. I’m your host, Tanya Valentine, and I’m so glad you are here!  

 

Allow me to just take a moment and express my sincere appreciation for all of you listening.  I really mean it from the bottom of my heart.  I want you to know that I think of you all all of the time, and I’m always thinking of what can I teach, what value can I give to you, what is it that you need help with.  I am so grateful for your support, and I appreciate you using your most valuable asset, your time, to listen to this podcast and my hope is that I can deliver and that you can take away something from this podcast that will help improve your life in some way.  

 

 I would love to hear from you! What do you need help with?  Is there a topic or a problem you are experiencing that you would like discussed on the podcast?  Do you have any feedback?  How can I improve?  You can let me know by either DM’ing me on fb or IG @tanyavalentinecoaching OR by joining The Mom-entum Podcast Private fb community and leaving a message there.

 

I also want to take the time to mention that in the spirit of the season, the spirit of giving, I am offering a $50 amazon gift card right now when you take the time to rate and review this podcast.  Simply rate and review the podcast, then take a screenshot of the review submitted, and send this screenshot in a DM to @tanyavalentinecoaching along with your email and you will be entered to win the $50 Amazon gift card.  I will announce the winner on December 27th, and if your name is pulled you will receive the gift card via the email address you provided.  So good luck! I hope you win! And allow me to express my gratitude ahead of time for your review.  They mean so much to me and they greatly help the show by allowing more people to find it.  If you find this show valuable, think of the impact you will make by writing a review or simply sharing it with one person.  And then that person you shared it with changes their outlook and their life by what they learned from the show, just think of the ripple effect that this has.  What I teach is that your thoughts create feelings, feelings drive your actions, and your actions create the results in your life.  So it all stems from your thoughts.  If you can change your perspective, how you think, you have the power to change your life.  And that is ultimately the goal of this show.  To provide a shift in perspective that will direct your feelings and behaviors in such a way that empowers you, gives you back more control in your life, has you living with more intention and more in alignment with your values.  When you can make a positive change in your life, think of the ripple effect that has on all of the people in your life.  You are more patient with your kids, you are more understanding of your spouse as well as the other people in your life and therefore treat them with more compassion and kindness.  If you have noticed any positive change like this from what you have learned from the show, think of the impact you will have by simply writing a review to help more women in the throws of motherhood take back their power.  

 

Alright, now let’s get into it.  What are we going to be talking about today? One of my favorite topics and that is TIME.  We all want more of it.  But how many of you have actually taken the time to really reflect and think about how you use your time now vs. ideally how you want to be using your time.  So many of us have this false belief that we have no control of our time.  We fall victim to the circumstances in our lives.  But I have kids, I have a job, I don’t have enough help, I don’t have time to do that.  That is a lie.  Look around.  There are people like you, with the same circumstances, the same amount of children you have, the same number of hours in the day as you have, and somehow they are able to find the time to do the things that are important to them. If they can do it, so can you.  I promise.  It all is a matter of being able to manage your mind.

 

 Now I am not saying this to make you feel guilty or make you feel like you are not doing enough.  I want you to know that you are doing enough, AND there is always room for improvement. We are all improving, always growing, always evolving.  I always think about what Tony Robbins says, if you’re not growing, you’re dying.  This life is about constant and neverending improvement.  We all are striving to be better, to access the best of our abilities.  And I don’t want you to believe that you are not enough or your not doing enough.  But shift the thought to I wonder what I’m capable of, I know I’m capable of more.  Do you tink anyone ever gets to the end of their life knowing that they accessed their highest capacity? 

 

 I want to always be striving to access my full capacity, but it takes effort to do this.  And it’s finding a balance, too,, of pushing yourself to summon what you are capable of while at the same time being grateful and celebrating the things you have accomplished in your life, finding time for joy for the fun to do the things that light you up or allow you to relax and recharge so that you don’t burn out in the process of fulfilling your full potential.  And what I want to say, too, is fulfilling your full potential means different things to different people.  Accessing your full potential is just being the best version of yourself.  It doesn’t mean you must go out and pursue a business, or invent something new.  It means you be the best mom you can be, the best friend or daughter you can be, or you go to work doing whatever job it is that you do and you give it your all.  You don’t just go to work and skate by, putting in the least amount of effort you have to  just to keep the job.  It’s going to work and asking yourself what value can you produce for your employer, for the clients, for your coworkers.  How can you help someone today? And its knowing that you are going to have off days.  We all do.  We all have days where we wake up and we are not feeling our best, give yourself grace on those days, remind yourself that those feelings are temporary, try your best, give yourself what you need, and tomorrow is another day.

 

 If you feel icky about the way you are using your time, if you feel like you don’t have time to do the things you want to do, I am here to tell you yes you do.  I am here to empower you.  LISTEN TO THIS STATEMENT: THIS IS THE TRUTH: WE ALL HAVE THE SAME 24 hours in the day, we MAKE time for the things that are important to us.  Now I can already hear you saying: but Tanya that’s true but some people have more money and they can pay for the extra help that allows them to be more productive and do the things they want to do.  Or what about the people who don’t have any kids, surely this allows them more free time to do the things that are important to them.  And I’m not gonna argue with you, those things might be true.  But get honest with yourself, is it serving you to think like that?  Or is it turning you into a victim?  When you think like a victim you disempower yourself, leaving no room to find solutions.  I want you to shift that mindset and say well I chose this.  I would of course chose to have children again if I had to, right? Say to yourself I chose this life, and I can figure it out, I always do.  That’s my favorite thing to say to myself is I can figure it out.  And when you think like that, I promise you friend, you will always find a way to figure it out.

 

So let’s get started figuring out how you can find a way to start intentionally planning your time for the things that are important to you, and living a life that feels more aligned with your values.

 

I want you to take out a paper and pen because today’s episode is designed to be somewhat of a workshop.  Interactive where I ask questions, and you take some time to reflect upon and then write down your answers.  The reason why I have you do this is that its not enough just to listen and consume this information.  The way for you to really integrate this, fully understand this, and then put it into action in your life, is by engaging with this content, stimulating your creative mind to really think, access your own unique inner wisdom, and then produce a solution for yourself.  The act of doing this will have you living a more deliberate, purposeful life.  So many of us are just living our lives on default, doing the things we’ve always done, habits we’ve just fallen into because they are  easy (seem easy) even when these things are actually making our lives harder. and we do this, we resist change, becuase our brains like familiarity and believes it’ll take too much effort to change.

So get out your pen and paper and get ready.

 

First, let me take the time to set an intention and that is that by the end of this episode you will walk away with:

•  a better understanding of how you use your time now

•  you will know the steps to take to do a time audit

•  you will identify time wasting activities, the tasks that you are doing that are stealing your time and energy

• You will make a decision as to  whether or not those activities are even necessary in your life and either eliminate them (stop doing them) or delegate them to someone else.

•  identify what your values are

• and you will walk away with a plan in place that frees up your time so that you can do the things that are important to you and that are in line with your values.

 

So let’s get started.  What we are doing today is a time audit.  We are just taking a look at how you use your time now. For today, what we will be doing is looking at how you use your time in hindsight.  So reflecting on how you spent your day yesterday.  But I’m also going to encourage you to do this from a blank slate, and what I mean by that is recording how you use your time from the moment you wake up until the time you go to bed.  And I have for you a complete step by step guide of how to do this in the free TIME AUDIT resource I created for you which you will be able to access in the show notes.  But for today lets think about your day yesterday and how you spent those 24 hours.

 

1. Pause the podcast and set a timer for 10 minutes and write down everything that you did yesterday from the minute you woke up until the time that you went to bed.  I want you to think of all the little nuances like time spent on the phone, answering texts, scrolling social media, time spent preparing meals, eating, cleaning up after meals, to time spent in the car, and even time spent worrying, ruminating, overwhelming (is that a verb I don’t know but I’m making it one and I know that you know what I mean when I say overwhelming) and dare I say catastrophizing.  Because all of these things, although they are not necessarily things anyone would see you doing, but they do take up time and energy, and they effect the way you think, which effects how you feel and how you act.  So take all of these things into consideration as you write down the list of all the things you did yesterday, and go crazy, do not edit yourself, just keep writing and asking yourself what else what else? Until either the timer has gone off or until you have reached the end of your day.  So go ahead, hit pause, set your timer for 10 minutes and get to writing.

2. Now looking at how you spent your time yesterday, what did you spend the majority of your time doing?

3. Is this how you want to spend the majority of your time?

4. What do you want to spend less time doing?

5. Identify any activities or tasks you are doing that are in your opinion a waste of your time.  What are the things in your life that can be eliminated in order to make your life easier and save you some time?  I’ll give you a quick example of this.  Recently, we had a little potty that my older 2 children had used to potty train.  We had this potty sitting in one of our bathrooms next to the toilet.  Well my 4 year old son would still use it sometimes even though he can now fit on and use the regular potty.  And it was wasting so much time for me to have to clean it out every time he was using it, and it totally was not necessary for him to be using that potty anymore.  Add to that the fact that my 1 year old kept stepping in it, or throwing things in it, so then I would have to wash her feet or whatever toy she threw in there, and it was a complete waste of time, totally unnecessary.  Well I recently said to myself, ok this isn’t necessary, this is something that can be eliminated and I cleaned it one last time, put it in a trashbag and stored it in our basement until our 1 year old is ready to potty train.  So right now, looking at your list from yesterday, is there anything that is unnecessary that can be eliminated?

6. Now looking at your answers to question #4 what do you want to spend less time doing, is there anything listed here that could be delegated?  For example, could you ask your husband to help with the dishes? Could you hire a cleaning service, maybe even just once a month? Can the kids start taking more responsibility? Initiate a morning routine where they get themselves ready for the day?  Can they put away their toys, teach them to tidy up?  Could you ask someone to pick up or drop off the kids to and from school one day a week?  Can you start using instacart to do the grocery shopping?  When given the space and time, and you give your brain the task of looking for solutions, it’s amazing what you can come up with.  So right now, I want you to come up with AT LEAST 2 things that you can start delegating.  Write it down now.

7. Now look at your day from yesterday and ask yourself is there anything that could be automated?  Meaning anything that you could make automatic?  This is anything that you do without having to make a decision about it.  Because decisions take time and energy, so making as many things as you can automatic will help you save both time and energy.So this could be establishing routines.  Maybe every morning when you first wake up you get your work out in. theres no thinking about it, theres no negotiating with yourself about it, these are all time wasting activities, you just do it. Or maybe every night before you go to bed you run the dishwasher and every morning you empty it.  So right now give yourself 5-10 minutes to brainstorm the activities in your life that can be automated and write them down.

8. What are your top 3 values? Values are basically what is important to you and they are what guide your decision making and your behaviors. If you are unsure what your values are then  Think of the most meaningful moments in your life.  What made those moments meaningful to you? Think of the moments in your life when you were dissatisfied. What were some of your worst life experiences?  Think what was it that made you feel dissatisfied?  And what inspires you?  Answering these questions will help to unveil what your values are.  Here is a list of some examples to get you started: family, connection, health, contribution, kindness, honesty, integrity, harmony, confidence, patience, self-discipline, organization, flexibility.

9. Now that you’ve identified your values, with these in mind, how would you like to spend more of your time that would allow you to live in more alignment with your values?

10. Now that you know how you have been spending your time, you’ve identified what you want to spend less time doing.  You have wrote down things you can eliminate, delegate, and automate.  You know what your values are and what you want to spend more time doing.  Now it’s time to put this plan into action.  Take action now while you have the momentum, while you are feeling motivated. You must do this now, if not, your primitive brain will kick in and try to convince you it’s too much work, or it will be a waste of time, or you will never stick to it, or you will do it later.  Take the time now my friend, if you want change you must do something different.  The work you put in now will pay off 10x later I promise you.  Your answers to questions #5,6,7 and 9 are your to do list.  Write these things down, put them on the calendar, and follow through.  I promise that if you do all of these things then you will free up the time to do the things that are important to you, in line with your values, and this will have you feeling more energized and fulfilled.

Go ahead and print out the free time audit work sheet that goes hand and hand with this episode.  The difference is that you will be logging how you spend your time in real time.  You will notice there is a time sheet with the times written out for you in 30 minute increments from 5am to 10pm. 

 And basically how this works is you log how you spend your day.  So maybe plan on doing this tomorrow.  Have everything ready so that you can begin to log your time from the moment you wake up until the minute you go to bed.  It might sound tedious, but it really doesn’t take much time to write a quick note every 30 minutes to an hour of how you are spending your time.  

 

And what do you write in your time blocks?  Not only do you want to write all of the activities we would see you doing, but it’s important to pay attention to the cognitive activities, the things someone wouldn’t necessarily see you doing.  So what I mean by this is pay attention to how much time you spend worrying, ruminating, complaining in your head about something, judging yourself or others.  And it ends up being a great awareness exercise because you begin to realize just how much you do these things that you aren’t even consciously aware of and how these mental activities can really steal your attention and focus.  Because every time you replay that conversation you had that might make you cringe, you are taken out of the present moment.  And a percentage of our focus and concentration is going to whatever it is we are replaying in our heads.

 

Remember, the journey towards effective time management isn’t just about squeezing more activities into your day. It’s about identifying what truly matters to you, aligning your actions with those values, and making intentional choices that support the life you want to lead.

 

By conducting a time audit, eliminating unnecessary tasks, delegating where possible, and automating certain routines, you’re taking proactive steps towards reclaiming your time and living in harmony with your values. Embrace the power you hold to shape your days and remember that every small change counts.

 

Your time is a precious asset; invest it wisely. As we wrap up today’s session, I encourage you to take that next step: download the provided time audit worksheet, start logging your activities, and observe where your time truly goes. Embrace this process with curiosity and an open mind, knowing that every insight gained will propel you closer to a more intentional and fulfilling life.

 

Thank you for joining me on this journey today. I appreciate your dedication and commitment to making positive changes in your life. Remember, every moment is an opportunity to make conscious choices that serve your highest self. Until next time, keep striving for the life that resonates with your values and brings you joy. Take care, and I’ll catch you on the next episode of The Mom-entum Podcast. Goodbye for now!