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Prioritizing Family in the Season of Motherhood

Welcome back to The Mom-entum Podcast! I’m Tanya Valentine, your host, and today I’m getting real about some big decisions I’ve been facing lately. If you’ve ever struggled with feeling pulled in too many directions or wondered how to balance your passions with being present for your kids, this episode is for you.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

- My Struggle with Mom Guilt: How I’ve been questioning whether to continue this podcast and my life coaching business, and why my kids are at the center of it all.

- Finding Clarity: The turning point that helped me realize that this season of motherhood is where I need to focus my energy.

- Letting Go of Control: The powerful lesson I’ve learned about letting go of the need to control everything—from my kids’ behavior to how I spend my time.

- Aligning with My Values: How a simple exercise with my therapist helped me identify my core values and make decisions that reflect what truly matters to me.

- Changes Ahead: Why I’ve decided to put life coaching on hold and what that means for the future of this podcast.

Key Takeaways:

- "You Can’t Parent in Your Spare Time"- Rick Warren: Inspired by a message from the Daily Hope Podcast, I discuss the importance of being fully present during this fleeting season of motherhood.

- The Power of Letting Go: Discover why letting go of control can lead to deeper connections with your children and more peace in your life.

- No Perfect Parents: A reminder that none of us have it all together, and that’s perfectly okay.

 Resources Mentioned:

- From Pastor Rick's Daily Hope: The Season of Parenting - Part 2, Aug 28, 2024

- Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting by Dr. Laura Markham

- Parenting and You Podcast by Dr. Shefali Tsabary

Quotes to Remember:

Quote #1:  This is the quote I heard after I had been praying for guidance on what to do, and it helped me come to this decision-

“You can't be a parent in your spare time. I mean, I have people come to me all the time and they say, Rick, I'm trying to figure out what is God's will for my life. And my first question is always, do you have kids at home?

If you've got kids at home, they are God's will for your life.

At this season. There will be other seasons for you to do other things. But if you've got kids at home, what in the world are you out there doing something you can do in another season? You made a commitment.

You see, parenting involves more than just creating kids. It involves maturing kids. And you're not going to have them forever.

It's a season that they'll be in your home.”-From Pastor Rick's Daily Hope: The Season of Parenting - Part 2, Aug 28, 2024

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Quote #2: “Letting go and letting God means having faith in the divine presence and trusting divine timing.”

Final Thoughts:

As I move forward, I’ve decided to focus more on my family during this season of motherhood. This means I’m putting life coaching on hold and slowing down the pace of the podcast. But don’t worry—I’m still here to uplift and encourage you, just at a pace that aligns with my values.

Thank you for being on this journey with me. If you found value in today’s episode, please consider leaving a rating and review. Your support helps me reach more moms who need encouragement on their motherhood journey.

Until next time, remember to let go and let God.

 Stay Connected:

- Follow me on Instagram: @tanyavalentinecoaching or on FB @Tanya Valentine Coaching

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Hello and welcome to another episode of The Mom-entum Podcast—the show dedicated to inspiring, uplifting, and empowering women on their journey through motherhood. I’m your host, Tanya Valentine, and I’m so grateful you took the time to tune in today.

Before we dive into today’s episode, I want to share a bit of what’s been on my heart. A couple of episodes back, I mentioned that I’ve been struggling with confusion lately. Well, after spending some time in reflection and prayer, I’ve finally found some clarity. Today, I’m going to get real with you and talk about the tough questions I’ve been asking myself about whether I want to continue with this podcast and my life coaching business. Spoiler alert: my kids are at the center of it all.

Motherhood is full of moments that feel like they pass in the blink of an eye. My kids are 6, 4, and 2 now, and when I look back at photos from before our daughter Serena came into our lives, it’s incredible how much has changed so gradually, yet so quickly. That realization hit me hard recently, making me question how I’m spending this precious time when they’re still young and need me the most.

I’ve been feeling like I’m giving just half of myself to all the different areas of my life. And that includes my kids. That feeling has been gnawing at me, making me consider what it would look like if I went all-in on being a mom. What if I really immersed myself in this season of motherhood? After all, I’m blessed to be able to stay home with my kids, and I don’t want to look back with regret.

A turning point came when my friend Carolyn Deck, who’s been a guest on this show, shared a podcast episode from Daily Hope that really resonated with me. The message was clear: *you can’t parent in your spare time.* If you’ve got kids at home, they are God’s will for your life right now. There will be other seasons for other pursuits, but this is the season for being present with your children.

That’s exactly what I needed to hear. My therapist and I have been talking about aligning my life with my values, and at the top of that list is family. I realized that the most satisfied people are those who live in harmony with their values. For me, that means pouring more of myself into my children during this season of their lives.

On the topic of letting go, I read a devotional this morning that felt so fitting to share with you all today. It said: “I am willing to let go and let God.”The message reminded me that trying to remain in control of a changing situation can test the limits of our strength and patience. Sometimes, despite our preferences and willfulness, circumstances will shift in unpredictable and even undesirable ways. The more we try to exert control, the more frustrated and exasperated we feel. But before we reach that point, we must remember that God is in the midst of everything—stability and change, cooperation and discord, order and chaos. Letting go and letting God means having faith in the divine presence, trusting divine timing, and being patient as divine order unfolds. It’s about giving up the illusion of control and allowing God to be God in our lives.

This really hit home for me because I’ve been learning how much of my parenting struggles stem from trying to control everything—whether it’s keeping the house perfectly clean or managing my kids’ behavior. But I’m realizing that letting go of that need for control not only eases my stress but also allows me to connect more deeply with my children.

I’ve been reading Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids by Dr. Laura Markham and listening to Dr. Shefali Tsabary’s podcast "Parenting and You." These resources have taught me so much about conscious parenting and how to manage my triggers. I’m seeing a difference in how I parent, and it’s making a positive impact on my relationship with my kids. For instance, just yesterday, my daughter Lucia was upset and lashed out, telling me I was the worst mom. Instead of reacting, I stayed calm, reassured her of my love, and she apologized on her own. Moments like that remind me why it’s so important to be fully present for my children.

I’ve also been reflecting on the idea that there’s no such thing as a perfect parent or a perfect family. We all have to let go of that fantasy and embrace the reality of our lives. Motherhood often looks and feels different from what we expected, and that’s okay. It’s a journey, and sometimes it’s messy, but it’s exactly what we need to learn and grow.

So, what does this mean for the podcast and life coaching? For now, I’ve decided to put life coaching on hold. This isn’t giving up—it’s choosing to focus on what matters most in this season. I’ll continue with the podcast, but you might notice that episodes will be less frequent, possibly biweekly or monthly. My priority is my family, and if it comes down to choosing between the podcast and my kids, I’m choosing them.

I hope you’ll understand and continue to support The Mom-entum Podcast. I’m still here to encourage you, uplift you, and remind you that we’re all in this together. None of us have it all figured out, but we’re doing our best, and that’s enough.

If you found value in today’s episode, please consider leaving a rating and review—it helps me reach and serve more mamas like you. Until next time, remember to let go and let God.