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Hey there, mama! Ever feel like your days are slipping through your fingers? Like no matter how hard you try, there’s just never enough time? Trust me, I’ve been there. But what if I told you that taking control of your time doesn’t just help you get more done—it actually helps you feel better?

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In this episode, I’m diving into how learning to manage my time changed everything—from my stress levels to my patience with my kids, to my ability to actually enjoy motherhood instead of just surviving it.

 

I’ll share:

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✔️ My personal struggles with time management (including an embarrassing college moment I’ll never forget!)

✔️ How I went from feeling frazzled and overwhelmed to feeling more in control of my days.

✔️ The real reason why we struggle to follow through on the things we know we should be doing.

✔️ The science of habit formation and how to retrain your brain for long-term success.

✔️ Why planning your free time first is the key to having more of it

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You don’t need more hours in the day—you just need a better way to use the ones you already have. And the best part? When you manage your time well, you teach your kids how to do the same.

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Need a quick way to get back on track? Grab my free 5-Minute Reset at Tanyavalentinecoaching.com/reset and take back control of your time today.

If this episode resonated with you, I’d love for you to subscribe, rate, and leave a review—it helps keep the momentum going! And if you know another mama who could use this, send it her way.

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You’ve got this! 💛

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Hello friends!  Welcome back to another episode of the Mom-entum podcast.  Where the goal is to inspire, uplift and empower women on their journey through motherhood.  I’m your host, Tanya Valentine, and I’m so glad you are here.

Now I’m going to take you on a journey into the past today.  Let’s go back like, I don’t know, 15 years ago.  I’m 24 years old.  I’m living in Indiana with Chris, who was just my boyfriend at the time.  We don’t have any kids, just 2 dogs, our beloved Boston Terriers Turbo and Lady.  And I’m in nursing school.  This girl, I’m talking about me, she is just flying by the seat of her pants.  I mean I was in nursing school getting good grades, but managing my time?  Not my strong suit.  If ever I was going out with friends, they knew enough to tell me they would be there to pick me up like 30 minutes before they were actually planning on being there.  I was infamously late, not all of the time, but let’s just say it was a frequent occurrence. I’ll never forget, there was this one time I was running late for my anatomy and physiology class and as I entered the classroom, the teacher actually called me out on it and asked why I was consistently showing up late for his class.  I was so embarrassed.  But he was right.  I mean if it happened 1 or 2 times, ok we gotta allow room for unexpected things to occur, but this was happening so much, and it was an interruption to his lecture, and although I was not intending to disrespect him, I could understand that he felt disrespect for this lack of consideration for him and his classroom, and I needed to be held accountable.  

Needless to say, I was so embarrassed I made sure I was never late to his class again.  And fast forward 8 years to when I first became a mom, and boy that's when I realized just how important it was for me to learn how to manage my time effectively.  More than ever.  And I struggled, in my first 2 years of being a mom.  I did.  In just under 2 years I became a mom to 2 children.  Lucia and Rocco are just 22 months apart.  And those 2 years really feel like a whirlwind to me.  Really, a complete blur.  I would start my days without ever having a plan,and I would just deal with things as they came.  It was all so overwhelming, learning how to be a mom, juggling going to work, household chores, preparing meals, taking care of our 2 dogs, and squeezing in time to get a work out in or take care of myself.  I was in a constant state of survival mode and my nervous system was feeling it.  Everything felt hard.  And it took away from my ability to be present with my kids.  Not to mention, the mood instability.  It doesn’t feel good to be frazzled all the time.  My brain always felt scattered.  And what I needed was a system.

It was when I found out that I was pregnant with my third child that I had this moment of Okay, something’s gotta change. In order to handle three kids, I had to start doing things differently. So, I took an organization course, studied time management, and even enrolled in life coach school, where I learned some incredibly valuable tools—not just to manage my time, but to manage my mind.

Because here’s the thing. We can all read a book, listen to a podcast, or take a course and learn everything about a subject, but if we don’t actually apply it, what good does that do us? And that’s the real question—if you’re investing your time and money into learning something, but you’re not using it, why? What’s getting in the way?

That’s where mind management comes in. It’s not just about knowing what to do—it’s about actually doing it. And trust me, I get it. I’ve bought books and courses, started out strong, and then… nothing. Or I do it for a little while and then lose momentum. Sound familiar? Well, if this has happened to you, let me just say—you’re not wrong, you’re not lazy, and you’re definitely not alone. In fact, there’s actual science behind why we do this.

Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Charles Duhigg wrote an entire book on it called The Power of Habit, where he dives into the neuroscience of why we form habits and why they’re so hard to change. He explains that our brains create habit loops, where a cue triggers a routine, and then we get a reward. Over time, these loops become hardwired into our neural pathways—basically, our brains go on autopilot. This is why it’s so hard to break old habits or stick with new ones, even when we know what we should be doing. Our brains just want to follow the familiar path.

But here’s the good news: once we understand how habits work, we can actually retrain our brains to make real, lasting changes. It’s not about willpower—it’s about strategy.

So, if our brains are wired for habit loops and tend to resist change, how do we actually break through and start applying what we know will improve our lives? The answer is intention + structure.

One of the most powerful things I’ve done is simply taking the time to sit down and think about what I actually want—what I want to do, the outcomes I want to create in my life, the trips I want to take with my family, the experiences I want to have with them, the things I want to teach my kids, the values I want to instill in them, the personal goals I want to achieve. Writing these things down and putting them on the calendar makes them real.  

Now this is something I have done, but I also want to get better at and be more consistent with.  Because I notice that when I get into a rhythm of doing this, it’s amazing what I accomplish.  Like this podcast, my website and all of the free resources I have created for you, my amazing audience of moms, things that have helped me and I believe will help make your life easier.

  It’s so easy to put this part of time management off, the like thinking about what it is we actually want, and visualizing what these ideas would actually look like.  It’s so easy to brush it off and believe we don’t have time to think about what we are doing, we don’t have time to plan, there’s too much to do, we just need to go.  But then what can end up happening, as I’ve heard one of my favorite authors, Robin Sharma, say so many times is, and I’m paraphrasing, but he says something like we spend all of our time,resources and energy climbing up a mountain, only to reach the top and realize that we climbed the wrong mountain.  That’s what happens without intention.

And here’s the truth: if I’m not doing something I say I want to do, it’s not because I don’t have time—it’s because I’m not making it a priority. And there’s always a reason for that. Most of the time, it’s because we associate pain with doing the thing. Maybe it feels overwhelming, maybe it feels too hard, or maybe we’re just stuck in that old habit loop of not doing it.

But the trick is to shift your focus from the short-term discomfort to the long-term gain. The more we can associate pleasure with the outcome—the deeper we connect to why we want to do something—the more motivated we’ll be to take action.

It’s like planning a vacation. I don’t know about you, but I’m not a big fan of researching flights, comparing hotels, and figuring out logistics. That part feels like work. But when I picture myself already there—feet in the sand, feeling the warm sun on my skin, creating memories with my family—that’s the part that excites me. That’s my why. So, even though I don’t love the planning process, I can remind myself that this is the path that gets me to that amazing experience. And once I take that first step—maybe just looking up flights—I’ve overcome the hardest part: getting started. And from there, momentum takes over. Suddenly, I’m booking the hotel, renting the car, looking at excursions… because I want to.

The same principle applies to managing our time. A lot of people think planning and structure will limit their freedom, but I’ve found the opposite to be true. Planning actually gives you more freedom. If you love being spontaneous, time management allows you to create space for spontaneity—because when the important things are handled, you’re free to enjoy the moment without guilt or stress.

So here’s the key: plan your free time first. Plan your self-care first. Schedule the things that give you energy, that make you feel like you. Because when you take care of yourself and your priorities, you’ll have more time and energy for the things that matter most—your family, your dreams, and the moments that make life truly meaningful.

And when you can manage your time better, when things come up, like when the stomach flu makes its rounds through your home, it doesn’t completely derail your life.  You have created space for these things to happen, and you’re much better equipped to handle them.  

When you feel like you have time and space, you have breathing room. You’re more patient with your kids, you respond better to tantrums, and you handle the inevitable spills and accidents with more grace. But the best part? You’re teaching your kids by example.

They learn best by watching us. In Atomic Habits, James Clear talks about how humans are master imitators, most influenced by three groups: the close, the many, and the powerful. For our kids, we are two of those three—the close and the powerful. So, I don’t know about you, but I want me to be the one influencing my children. Not their peers. Not a YouTuber. Me. And I want them to be better than I am. I want them to grow up happy, healthy, and successful. And I believe the key to that is building healthy habits and learning to regulate emotions.

Honestly, I didn’t realize how important emotional regulation was until I had kids. This is a whole other podcast episode in itself, but—wow—the temper tantrums when they don’t get their way? My goodness.

Take my son, for example. He’ll be teasing his sister, and I’ll ask him to stop. I’ll even warn him: If you keep going, I’m taking your Nintendo Switch away. But he keeps going. So, I take it away. And then? He absolutely loses it—making things even worse for himself. I always tell him, This is not how you get your way, dude. This is how you lose even more privileges. I try to teach him: Take some deep breaths, walk away, calm yourself down—before you make it worse.

And it’s so obvious when we see our kids struggle with emotional regulation. But when we are the ones in the middle of an emotional spiral? It’s so much harder to recognize.

This skill—emotional regulation—is at the heart of everything:

• Learning to share.

• Voicing opinions.

• Sticking up for yourself or others in a respectful way.

• Conflict resolution.

• Effective communication.

Because here’s the thing—if we can’t regulate our emotions, we can’t problem-solve. And problem-solving is everything. It’s how we move through life with more ease, how we build strong relationships, and how we raise resilient kids.

This isn’t something I was taught growing up. It wasn’t taught in school. And I am far from perfect at it. But I’ve come a long way.

So, if you’ve ever felt like time is slipping through your fingers—like you’re constantly reacting to life instead of leading it—you’re not alone. Learning how to manage my time changed everything for me. Not just in how much I get done, but in how I feel every day.

When you take control of your time, you gain:

• More time for what matters most – your kids, your dreams, and yourself.

• Less stress and overwhelm – because when you have a plan, you don’t have to scramble.

• More patience and presence – when your brain isn’t cluttered with endless to-do lists, you can actually enjoy the moment.

• A positive example for your kids – they learn by watching us, and time management is a skill that will serve them for life.

So, how do you actually do it? Here are some simple steps to get started:

1. Decide what you want. Take time to think about what really matters to you and what you want to spend your time doing.

2. Schedule your priorities first. Instead of fitting in self-care and quality time with your kids after everything else, plan it first.

3. Start small. The hardest part is getting started, so pick just one habit to implement at a time.

4. Make it easy. Set yourself up for success by creating reminders, setting up routines, or using tools that simplify the process.

5. Think long-term. When something feels like a chore, shift your mindset to focus on the result—why you’re doing it in the first place.

By implementing even one of these steps, you’ll start seeing a shift in your days, your mindset, and how you show up as a mom.

And if you need a quick, easy way to reset and take back control of your time, be sure to check out my free 5-Minute Reset at Tanyavalentinecoaching.com/reset.

If this episode helped you, I’d love for you to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast—it really helps keep the momentum going! And if you know a fellow mom who could use this, please share it with a friend.

Thank you so much for spending this time with me—I appreciate you more than you know. Until next time, take care, and remember: You do have the power to create more time, more peace, and more joy in your life.