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Hello and welcome to another episode of the Mom-entum podcast.  If you just happen to be tuning in for the first time, let me just say welcome, I am truly so glad you have joined me today, you belong here, you are here for a reason, and I hope that this is your first listen of many.  

 

And I want to give a big thank you to all of you long-time listeners, I want you to know that I so appreciate you, I am so incredibly grateful for all your support, and I want you to know that I am thinking about you all of the time.  I’m always thinking about what could you possibly be struggling with and how can I help, how can I help you feel less alone in this journey of motherhood.  Because it can feel lonely at times, I know, because I’ve experienced this.

 

 AND what I want to say is that, that’s true of everything, not just being a mom, right.  So if you’re listening and you are not a mom, or maybe you are, but your kids are grown and out of the house, don’t stop listening.  This applies to you, too.  I promise there is something that you will hear today that will help you in your life in some way.  In fact, I want you to decide right now that you will take at least one thing away from this episode and put it into action today as soon as you are done listening, and I promise that it will help improve your life in some way.  

 

But we all feel lonely sometimes, don’t we?  I know I sure do.  The truth is we are all alone in our heads.  We are the ones that are with ourselves the longest.  There is no escaping or getting away from ourselves or our thoughts.  Try as we might.  We may try to escape ourselves by doing things that might not be the healthiest, right?  Like drinking, scrolling on social media, binging shows on netflix, or snacking when we are not hungry, I like to call these things “buffering” or “numbing” which is basically any behavior you overdo in order to avoid feeling some kind of emotion.  

 

And we all do these things at times, and we might even want to stop or at least minimize the amount of times we buffer because we have experienced the negative effects it has caused in our lives.  Like, for example with drinking, it could be the hangover the next day, or waking up with shame about the things we might have said or did the night before that we regret.  Or in the case of overeating, the negative effects would be being overweight, or maybe even the negative toll it has had on our health.

 

  That's the work we do here.  That’s the work we do on this podcast and in coaching is we work on feeling our feelings, we examine our thoughts, we get curious with ourselves, we get to the root cause of why we do the things we do, which spoiler alert, its always our thoughts.

 

   This work has a lot to do with processing our emotions, sitting with them, not reacting to them by, for example, yelling when we are angry. Not suppressing them, which would be just stuffing it down and ignoring the feeling.  Processing emotion is hitting the pause button and becoming an observer of how this emotion feels in our bodies, letting it flow through, allowing it to be there.  Reminding ourselves that emotions are temporary, they come and they go. 

 

Why is this important? 

 

One reason is that it is important for our overall health.  And know that it is a practice.  I don’t think there is a single person in this world who is perfect at it.  But it’s something we must practice, like anything else, in order to improve.  And if we don’t make it an intentional practice, it is very easy to fall back into our old ways.  

 

But processing emotion is good for your health because emotion is energy.  Emotion drives all of our actions or inactions.  Emotion that goes unprocessed gets stuck in our body, it’s stagnant energy.  And this stagnant energy can show up as disease, or some sort of problem in our life.  Research shows that suppressing or avoiding emotions keeps the body in a chronic stress state, leading to inflammation, weakened immunity, and increased risk of conditions like heart disease, autoimmune disorders, chronic pain, anxiety, and depression. Processing emotions in healthy ways helps restore balance, resilience, and overall well-being.

 

 And when we process our emotions by getting into our body and noticing what it feels like, noticing what happiness feels like, noticing what frustration feels like. I know for me, frustation feels like tension in my chest and in my throat, it feels like I can’t breath, I feel tingling down my arms.  That’s what I mean by getting into your body. And I will get into this more in a future episode, but also I have talked about how to process emotions in previous episodes which I will make sure to link in the show notes if you are interested in learning more.  

 

And I realize I kind of got off topic here, but I wanted to kind of preface this episode talking about emotions, because they are the reason we do or don’t do anything.  So if you want to start a new routine, it’s because of how you imagine it will make you feel.  If you are listening to this episode, I imagine it is because you want to learn more about routines and you want some motivation, you want to figure out how to start a sustainable routine that will have you feeling more in control, and maybe more focused and at peace, rather than feeling chaotic, rushed and scattered.  

 

And also, since our emotions fuel our actions, it’s important to intentionally think about the emotion you would need to generate in order to start and maintain a new routine.  Emotions like determined, committed, and persistent, for example. And how, you may ask, might you generate these emotions?  The answer is with your thoughts.  You are going to decide ahead of time what you will intentionally tell yourself in order to create an emotion of committed, for example.  Something like I am going to make sure I get 5 minutes of exercise everyday no matter what.  Something like I can and will figure this out.  I am capable.  I am going to do this because I made a promise to myself, and I am working on keeping promises to myself.  Because the better I get at keeping the promises I make for myself, the better my life gets.  So let’s go!

 

So I’m assuming you are here today because you want to start or get better at routines.  Maybe you are looking for motivation, or some tips and tricks on creating a routine that will help your life flow a little smoother, you want to instill healthy habits, and you want something that will be sustainable, something that you can stick to, something that becomes almost automatic so that you don’t even have to think about it.

 

Routines are a lifeline for moms because they create structure in the midst of the chaos of family life. When you have predictable rhythms for mornings, meals, homework, bedtime, and even your own self-care, you’re no longer making a thousand micro-decisions every day — which reduces mental load and frees up energy for what truly matters.

Here’s how routines make life better for moms:

• Routines lessen the overwhelm & decision fatigue: Routines take the guesswork out of your day. Instead of constantly wondering, “What’s next?” or “Did I forget something?”, your brain goes on autopilot — just like when you drive a familiar route or tie your shoes without thinking. The less you have to decide in the moment, the less mental energy you use, which means less stress and more space to focus on what matters.  For example, if your mornings always follow the same flow — coffee, pack lunches, get the kids dressed, out the door — you don’t waste time debating what to do first. It just happens, saving your energy for the bigger challenges of the day. The trick is repetition: repeat your routine enough times, and it becomes second nature — easy, automatic, and way less draining.

 

• Routines create more calm and less Chaos: Kids thrive on predictability.  When they know what to expect, there are fewer meltdowns and battles — which means more peace at home.  And honestly we thrive on predictability, too.  The unpredictable is scary to our brains, it is the unknown.  The more we can know what to expect, the more safe and calm we feel.  And when our minds are calm, we think clearer, we solve problems better, and we are better equipped to handle life’s curveballs.
   

• Routines create space: A consistent schedule makes it easier to carve out time for things that fill you up — whether that’s a quiet cup of coffee, a quick workout, or just a moment to breathe. Intentionally planning time for these self care activities into your routine helps you guarantee you get that time for yourself.  Which really is necessary.  You’ve got to do the things that fill your cup so that you have the energy and capacity to show up for the people you love to the best of your ability and in a way that you can feel proud of.  And will you lose it sometimes?  Yes, I know I do.  However, if I didn’t have this time built into my day I know it would be so much worse.
   

• Routines improve Family Flow: When everyone knows the plan, the household runs more smoothly, leaving room for more connection and less chaos.  For example, my son knows what he needs to do in the morning in order to get ready for the day.  I don’t have to tell him, he just does it.  It’s breakfast, brush teeth, floss, wash face, get dressed, and now we’ve been doing his hair and he’s ready to go.  There’s no arguing, there’s no fighting, there’s no reminding or me having to micromanage his every move. And this helps us to get out the door on time.  And this took a lot of work, this was years of working on this routine with him to get to this point.  And here we are, and it makes the mornings flow so smoothly.
   

• Routines Are a Foundation for Growth:
  Routines create stability, which makes it easier for you and your kids to adapt when life throws curveballs. They act like a safety net — something predictable you can count on when everything else feels uncertain.  And let’s be honest, life with kids is full of uncertainty. They get sick, their moods change by the hour, nap schedules shift, or naps disappear altogether. Then there are the bigger transitions, like starting school or moving from part-time preschool to full-time days.Having consistent routines in place is like having that favorite “wubby” or comfort blanket — it grounds you. It gives your family something steady to hold onto so that even when life changes, you all still feel safe, supported, and more like yourselves.

 

In short, routines aren’t about being rigid — they’re about creating flexibility and freedom. When the basics of the day are on autopilot, you gain more mental space, more patience, and more energy to be the mom you want to be.

 

Now that we know why routines are so powerful, let’s talk about how to actually start and keep them going — because it’s one thing to want a routine, and it’s another to make it stick.

Step 1: Start Small

Don’t try to overhaul your whole life at once — that’s the fastest way to burn out and not even get started. When a change feels too big or overwhelming, your brain will push back and start coming up with all kinds of excuses.

Here’s why: our brains are wired for the “motivational triad” — to seek pleasure, avoid pain, and conserve energy. It’s a survival mechanism that’s helped humans evolve. So if you try to make too many changes at once, your brain sees it as a threat: “This is too much effort. Let’s save our energy in case something dangerous comes up.”

The key is to work with your brain, not against it. Start small. Choose just one area to focus on — maybe mornings, meals, or exercise — and stick with that until it feels steady. Once it’s automatic, then you can add on more.

 

 

Step 2: Anchor It to Something You Already Do

This is called “habit stacking.” If you already make coffee every morning, add a 2-minute gratitude practice while it brews. If you already sit down for dinner, add a quick family clean-up right after. Anchoring new habits to existing ones makes them easier to remember and stick with.

 

Step 3: Make It Visual

Use a checklist on the fridge for the kids, or keep a sticky note on the bathroom mirror for yourself, or use a habit tracker, checking off a box every time you perform the routine or habit.  Seeing it keeps you on track, and there’s something so satisfying about checking things off. If you are interested, I have a habit tracker you can try, simply go to the show notes for the link!

 

Step 4: Be Flexible and Give Yourself Grace

Ok we all know life with kids is unpredictable. Missing a step doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Routines are there to serve you, not the other way around. Adjust when needed and get back on track without judgment.

 

Step 5: Repetition is Key

The magic is in the reps. Do it again and again until it feels automatic. Remember, the goal isn’t perfection — it’s progress.

Step 6: Anticipate and Plan for Obstacles

Take a few minutes to think ahead about the obstacles that might pop up — and create a plan for how you’ll handle them.

For example, let’s say you want to wake up early to get a workout in before the kids wake up. When that alarm goes off, your brain is going to try to talk you out of it. It’ll say things like, “Hit snooze… what’s five more minutes? You’re so tired. You need rest so you’re not grumpy with the kids.”

But here’s the truth: if you hit snooze and skip the workout, you’ll probably end up more frustrated with yourself — and that frustration can spill over into how you show up for your family. Without that calm, grounding time to yourself in the morning, the day often starts in chaos. You feel behind, stressed, and less patient when little things — like spilled milk — happen.

Now imagine the opposite: you wake up on time, move your body, and keep the promise you made to yourself. You feel calmer, more focused, and proud. So when someone spills their cereal, you handle it with ease instead of exploding.

The key is to decide ahead of time what you’ll do and say to yourself when the alarm goes off. One trick? Jump out of bed before the mental chatter even starts. Remind yourself, “This workout will give me energy. Five more minutes won’t help — I’m not even in deep sleep.” Or say, “I’ll just start. I’ll move for five minutes and see how I feel.”

Nine times out of ten, once you start, you won’t want to stop.

 

Now let’s get practical with examples of routines you can start this week:

 

1. A Morning Routine to Get Out the Door Without Meltdowns

• Wake up 20 minutes before the kids for a quiet moment to yourself.  You could spend this time moving your body like I do.  This doesn’t have to be an intense work out, either. You could do some jumping jacks,  squats, or sit ups, or walk 5 minutes on the treadmill if you have one.  Keep it simple.  

You could even use this time in prayer, meditation, or journaling.  The point is, get up and do something that helps you feel grounded before everyone else in the house is up.  I’m telling you it will create so much more peace that will carry over into your day.
 

• Breakfast together at the table (or in the car if you’re in survival mode).  Quick breakfasts we use in our house are eggo waffles, the microwavable  mini pancakes, yogurt pouches, and the microwavable instant oatmeal.
   

• Use alarms.  I let the kids eat breakfast first and when the alarm goes off at 7 its time to be done, even if there’s still food on their plate.  It’s time to drop everything and start getting ready.  Then I set another alarm for when it’s time to go.

• Pack lunches the night before.  And on Sunday I will look up the lunch menu for the week and put it on the calendar, that way my kids can decide whether they want hot or cold lunch.
   

• Out the door by the same time every day, with bags packed the night before. I will wash the water bottles and fill them with fresh water and have them ready the night before. It seems like a simple little thing, but trust me it makes a difference.
   

 

2. A Healthy Eating Routine

• Plan meals on Sundays — just 10 minutes to map out dinners.
   

• Grocery shop or do an online order right after.
   

• Prep easy grab-and-go snacks — think cut-up veggies, fruit, or yogurt — so healthy choices are always ready.
   

• Stick to a simple breakfast rotation like smoothies, eggs, or oatmeal so there’s no decision fatigue.
   

Remember: It doesn’t have to be perfect to be healthy. Consistency matters more than Pinterest-worthy meals.

 

3. An Exercise Routine You’ll Actually Stick With

• Anchor it to something you already do, like when you wake up, or after school drop-off, or during nap time.
   

• Start small — even 10 minutes of movement counts.
   

• Choose what you actually enjoy: walking, dancing, a quick YouTube workout.
   

• Lay out workout clothes the night before to remove one barrier.
   

The key: Make it realistic and doable so you can stick with it. Over time, those short sessions compound into big changes.

 

And here’s the thing — your routines don’t have to look like anyone else’s. What works for one family might not work for yours, and that’s okay. The goal is to find rhythms that help you feel less stressed, more energized, and more present.

So mama, as we wrap up today, I just want to remind you — routines aren’t about being perfect, rigid, or fitting into someone else’s mold. They’re about creating rhythms that support you and your family, so that your days feel smoother, calmer, and more intentional.

Start small, pick one area of focus, and give yourself grace along the way. Progress, not perfection, is what truly makes the difference. Over time, those little reps add up to big change.

And remember, you don’t have to do this alone. Every time you tune in here, know that I’m right alongside you, cheering you on and walking through the ups and downs of motherhood with you.

So here’s my challenge for you this week: pick one routine — maybe it’s mornings, healthy meals, or just 10 minutes of movement — and put it into practice. Then, pay attention to how it shifts the tone of your day and how you show up for yourself and your family.

And I’d love to cheer you on! Share what you’re working on with me — post it on your socials and tag me @tanyavalentinecoaching. Or, leave it in a review for this podcast! Just head to your podcast app, tap “write a review,” and tell me the routine you’re starting, how you plan to stick with it, and how you imagine it will make you feel.

You can also share what’s already working for you and your family — because when we moms pool our ideas together, we really can conquer the world.

You’ve got this, my friend. And I can’t wait to hear how it goes.

If this episode encouraged you, it would mean so much if you shared it with a friend or left a review. That’s how we reach more moms who need this kind of support. And don’t forget to check the show notes for links and resources I mentioned today.  I’ll talk to you in a couple of weeks! Bye!