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Triumph Over Adversity: A Doula's Tale of Her Journey to Motherhood

In this heartwarming episode, join us as we dive into the incredible journey of a remarkable mother and doula. She has faced unimaginable challenges, enduring six miscarriages on her path to motherhood. However, her story is one of resilience, inspiration, and unwavering faith in miracles.

 

Discover how a simple request from a friend led her to her life's calling as a doula, supporting and guiding other mothers through their own transformative journeys. Even amidst house construction chaos, she refused to let imperfections hinder her mission: bringing moms together, creating a tight-knit community, and fostering connections that transcend perfection.

 

Listen in to hear about the true miracles she's experienced firsthand: from the beautiful adoption of her daughter to her incredible journey of inducing lactation to nurse her, and the heartwarming birth of her son through embryo adoption. Join us for a story that will leave you inspired, believing in the extraordinary, and celebrating the power of motherhood and miracles.

 

More about our guest, Joy Moffit Czech:

 

Joy is married to her husband, Elijah and blessed with 2 amazing children. A desire that Joy has had is to grow her family not just biologically but through adoption as well. With her first adoption in 2019, Joy was so passionate about breastfeeding that she was able to induce lactation and breastfeed. In 2022, Joy went through a new adoption process called embryo adoption and welcomed a new baby into their home through this amazing process. She is excited about what the future holds as her family continues to grow.

She is a Small business owner of Joy In Birth LLC, creator in the marketplace, has a Bachelor’s of Education, a Birth and Postpartum Doula, Childbirth Educator, and has additional training as a Purpose Driven Life Coach,  Birth Photographer, Spinning Babies, Lactation Support,  Hypnobabies, and more. 

Due to 6 miscarriages, Joy found a passion and helps moms during pregnancy, birth and beyond as a doula. She is dedicated to helping mothers have so much more than just a standard birth experience, but one filled with knowledge and science and evidence based material. Joy has a relaxing, positive, genuine, and encouraging personality.

 

Women feel empowered by the exceptional services she provides through physical, emotional, and informational support before, during, and after birth. 

Joy has both an in person and virtual following with her MAMA minded podcast and group, where She has worked hard in creating a space for women to come together to create a village of listeners and encouragers, which in turn leads to sweet friendships. It has been such a fun, supportive community to be a part of and I encourage all you moms to give it a try! I promise you'll feel so loved on and supported through the journey of motherhood.

 

Joy has been a teacher since 2008, but stepped out of the school system 4 years ago to start Homeschooling families. She has a passion to see school differently, children to excel, learn life skills, have families build stronger relationships and so on. 

Her family  has a small farm with a large  garden, apple orchard, goats, chickens, bees, and a dog! They  are in the process of building their dream  home where the Mama Minded dream is being built to house families with love and support.

 

Weekly, Joy and her husband open up their home, to  encourage the community, whether it is for her MAMA minded group or for families to gather together, where she and her husband teach safety, survival and life skills.

Resources Mentioned In Show
  • Joy In Birth, LLC

  • Find Joy on IG @mama_minded_joyczech

  • Find Joy on FB @Joy Moffit Czech.

  • Click here to check out the Mama Minded Facebook Group

  • Listen to Mama Minded Podcast here.

  • Watch Mama Minded on YouTube here.

  • Learn more about how to induce lactation here.

  • The facility where Joy went for embryo adoption can be found here.

  • For the fertility clinic in US recommended by Joy click here.

  • Click here to join The Mom-entum Podcast Private Facebook Community

  • Please subscribe, rate and review the show to help me reach and support more amazing moms just like you! Click here to learn how.

TRANSCRIPT

00:00.00

Hello friends. If you enjoy a good story of how miracles really do happen, then today's episode is for you. Today, I interviewed Joy Moffett Czech, a fellow mom and small business owner of Joy In Birth, LLC. She is a creator in the marketplace, has a bachelor's of education, a birth and postpartum Dula, a childbirth educator, and has additional training as a purpose driven life coach, birth photographer, spitting babies, lactation support, HIFNA babies, and more. Joy's journey to motherhood marked by six miscarriages, is a testament to her unwavering determination.
Her story is a testament to the power of resilience and the pursuit of dreams. Join me as we dive into her inspiring journey. You guys, I can't wait for you to hear her story. It really does serve as proof that miracles really do happen. So without further ado, here's my interview with joy Moffett Czech.

00:00.00
tanyavalentine
Okay, welcome to the podcast joy. Thank you so much for being here you guys? Yeah, thank you so much for being here you guys I am so excited for joy to share her story with you today. She is truly an example of what is possible when you choose to listen to your heart.

00:05.68
Joy
Ah, well thank you for having me.

00:19.18
tanyavalentine
And follow your dreams I want to start just by talking about how I found you joy because I really feel like it was something that was divinely orchestrated and just interesting to share so picture this it's June and I'm sitting down nursing Serena while Rocco and Lucia are just. Playing and making a mess of the house and I decide to hop on a Facebook mom's group which is not something I typically do but I come across this post and it's an invitation to a mom's group saying come and learn how to make yogurt. And connect with other moms and it just so happened to be going on that day starting at one P M and meanwhile it's I don't know 9 30 in the morning here, but it was something that I didn't have I saw I didn't have to register ahead of time for or even pay for and it was at.

01:15.38
tanyavalentine
This woman's home which I mean I you guys can fill in what? Um It's joy Joy is the woman. Um, but imagine that this woman was welcoming complete strangers into her home in the name of providing ah a place a space. For moms to connect and all she was asking for in return was that you bring a dish I was so intrigued and I wanted to know more about the woman behind it all so I hopped on her mama minded facebook group page and I read about her and I read this story joy that you had on there about. Women the the laundry the try I don't know if you want to talk a little bit about that. But um and if not that's fine like people just maybe join her mama minded Facebook group I mean when I read that story I was like that's it like.

02:11.33
Joy
Right? Yeah, yeah, this has been 2 years and making to like get that to be established and it was I guess more well because we're even you've seen our homes so we're in the process of building and we're the ones doing all the work. We had a Thousand Square feet home and then.

02:13.20
tanyavalentine
I Have to meet you. Ah um.

02:31.10
Joy
We are just going big. So now. It's like six Thousand Square feet and with us doing all the work. It's taking a lot more time to get this established so I was procrastinating I knew these mom groups needed to start like forever ago and I just kept. Procrastinating and thinking like I don't know you know and it's like those lies that we believe right? and I thought you know one one of my clients actually so medula and she was visiting her her postpartum appointment and she's like when are you going to start those mom groups and I was like man her house is so much under.

03:22.15
Joy
No to remember where I was tell you um I backtracking so I had a client who she had asked me when we were going to start up these Momma minded like meetups these mom meetups and I kind of just said well.

03:29.96
tanyavalentine
Um, yeah, yeah, yes.

03:38.36
Joy
It's not the fact that I don't want to have them because I love Moms.. It's just that it was difficult due to the home being under so much Construction. So. She's like well I just feel like it'd be so good for me and she's like I don't care that the house is under construction like that doesn't bother me and maybe that is even more appealing to me because your house isn't gonna be perfect and I was like oh yeah, yeah.

03:50.30
tanyavalentine
Yeah.

04:03.13
tanyavalentine
Ah, joy. Ah, oh my God go ahead, go ahead. No that was just something that I wanted to say like yes like when I came to your house like that's just something that I respected.

04:07.42
Joy
What? Ah so.

04:16.64
Joy
So long.

04:21.10
tanyavalentine
About you so much when I came to your house that day I was just like that made me love you even more. Not seriously really.

04:24.39
Joy
Oh yeah, I just felt like to me I it's been crazy living in construction for a few years now I mean we've lived in it. It's been funny actually where we've been sleeping at night and all of a sudden I'm getting wet and I'm thinking oh my god what is happening. And finding out it was raining and because our home we so the throughout thousand that we lived in we had at 1 point take the roof off but because we were doing the work. It took a process it took time so we take part of the roof off part of the roof off part of the roof off. Well it would just rain sometimes obviously in Northwest Indiana and when it rained if there was wind then the covers would come off and all the things like that were holding the roof on and you could start getting wet in the middle of the night you know so mean there were moments of it that were just tough and difficult or like my dad we were celebrating his birthday and everybody is getting ready to leave. It was like nine o'clock at night and then all of a sudden it starts.

05:22.28
Joy
Downpouring and we're all saying our goodbyes as water is just pouring in from little holes in the ceiling because the lights that were there. We had to take out and bear in mind we have no electricity in the house and like that is pluggable for light switches. So. And my husband't been Electrician So Just funny and so we're all running around like trying to grab buckets and it's definitely been a fun interesting thing and so I didn't know would people want to be experiencing this like is this too much and so that was my concern. But it's been beautiful because I do want moms when they come to the group and are a part of Mama minded that they feel like they are home and literally tanya that is why we are building this home. It is not for us. We know there's my husband and I.

06:12.28
Joy
My daughter like we'll get into this I'm sure is adopted when we started building and then there was no reason for us to build a six Thousand Square foot home. No reason but we felt like god had told us to build an arc and he was going to fill it. And at that time it made absolutely no sense I did not know that I would start a podcast I did not know that I would start mama minded I did not know I would have these mom groups I did not know any of this and I'm thinking. Oh maybe it's going to be for millions of children. You know like. We're just gonna fill it but we are so dedicated to the fact that like even my daughter when people come over. She welcomes them and she goes this is your home to so make yourself at home because that is what we live by like this home is our dream home. We we feel like millionaires and we're not. You know we're just.

 

07:02.50
Joy
Very very average people. But our home is just something that is a gift that we want to give back to people you know and so that's where it was kind of hesitant to start these groups? Um, but you know we want to be real as much as we can.

07:20.55
tanyavalentine
So I love that and I got to say and it does feel like home like I've been there I've been to your home and I've been a part of these mom's groups and it does it just feels you just feel welcome like when I first met you I just felt.

07:39.51
tanyavalentine
Felt like I already knew you but I just felt like that warmth you know like I felt like I ah longed there like I was at the I was where I needed to be. You know what? I mean and I just want to so be I Just want people what I want people to take away from this like what we're talking about is.

07:46.62
Joy
Yeah.

07:58.81
tanyavalentine
Like don't let things don't let your fear of like being or not being perfect I guess I should say don't let that stop you from doing what you want to do like we all have these. Primal brains right? and it's in our nature to compare ourselves to others and we do this It's just our brains just trying to keep us safe right? We all just want to be accepted. We want to be a part of the tribe. It's just how we've evolved because if you you know way back when if you weren't accepted as part of the tribe you would be kicked out and that would mean death for you but nowadays you know it's it's just not serving us. Um. But it's something that's it really is rooted deep in our biology and unfortunately it prevents us from living our life to the fullest like what would have happened if joy you know, waited for her house to be done to start hosting these. Mama mean it's well I wouldn't have met her and all the other women wouldn't have met her or you know connected with 1 another like it just it's been really beautiful. So does I want other people to you're just such an inspiration like you're an inspiration to me like that I feel like coming near house and.

09:35.24
tanyavalentine
You know, seeing that it was under construction. There was like a washer and dryer in the front line but it just I loved that and I was just like it's Siri like I was just like oh my god and even speaking to the other women they're like we were just like like she's just so amazing and it gave me inspiration to want to do that in my home and. You know because things aren't they're never going to be perfect like you know my house is always a mess I got 3 kids you know and like they're just I our house needs updating as well. But yeah, like just don't postpone it because think of what you could be missing out on. And gifts that you could give to others too.

10:16.72
Joy
Yeah I definitely feel that it is like the fear that can get to us or the other thing that comes to my mind when discussing this topic is the fact that oftentimes we feel feel like oh nobody'll show up or whatever. But. Sometimes we need to do for the 1 sometimes we need to do what we do for the 1 person that's going to show up because even if it's a different person. Every single week is okay because that person that comes for some reason she wanted to be there. Maybe she I needed. It.

10:54.72
Joy
You know, maybe it wasn't even for her but it was I needed that influence in my life that one week. Um and it is so much like as women we can deal with comparing and we can deal with oh feeling like we're not enough but the lies that we believe is so crucial for us to really tackle.

11:13.72
Joy
And I mean every single day we have new brain cells that are being given to us which is such a beautiful gift and sells that die at night which I also think is a gift because I just claim that the bad cells my negative thoughts my fear those are the things that are dying at night and wake up every morning with fresh thoughts that I get to choose what I think on.

11:33.29
Joy
And if I can be focused on the right things and focused on not the fear and you know really abolishing those and taking captive of my thoughts. There's so much more that we can do because we live in a prison of the lies that we believe like.

11:50.61
Joy
Feeling like we're not enough and oftentimes. We're our hardest critic you know, like saying like the house or saying that you know our house is disheveled or you know oh I look like this that and the other or you know, whatever it might be I feel like I give people grace and I love people and tonya I know that you. Can you say that and I really do like I absolutely love people. But you know the person that I give the less amount least amount of Grace to is me and that's yeah, yeah, and that's where I need to focus and we all need to focus more on giving the grace to ourselves you know, stepping back and saying ok.

12:13.74
tanyavalentine
You? Yeah yeah.

12:29.96
Joy
You know what is it like what is it that I'm doing that. Why am I like this and how can I retrain my brain and continue to think on the right things and taking those thoughts captive. So I'm not a captive to torturing thoughts you know, but and I guess that's just more So what I've had to do.

12:36.31
tanyavalentine
Right? right.

12:45.43
tanyavalentine
We right? right? which kind of leads me into. Can we talk about your story next? okay.

12:48.71
Joy
So much in my life because I've had a lot of ups and downs and a lot of things that we've had to go through.

13:00.10
Joy
Yeah, yeah, absolutely sure. Um, well yeah, so my husband and I we've been married for 14 years and almost fourteen years I guess and um, 2 years into marriage. We were like all right? Let's try to have children and we were pretty excited and I've always been that person that just dreamt of having babies and you know had all the names are in down since I was like 4 or 5 of all the names I wanted my children be named and um so just dreamt and I mean I'd bring baby dolls with me all the time and. Just couldn't wait to be a mom and I graduated the bachelor's of education. So I was teaching school and so I kind of got a fill of being able to be like a mom to these children but I still wanted like my own. And ended up 2 years in a marriage we found out we were pregnant I was so excited and told my husband and we were just pretty excited nervous for sure and um, a few weeks later you know went to the doctor and getting that ultrasound just checked the viability and how baby's doing and the doctor very terrible bedside manners.

14:00.79
Joy
Like ah no baby I'm like what he's like no baby. No baby. You'll come back another time maybe baby no baby like um, what do you mean? no baby like we were stunned. We literally just like stopped and looked at each other like that's not even possible. We have a baby. We're pregnant like.

14:01.50
tanyavalentine
Oh my God yeah.

14:19.80
Joy
I have the test to prove it a pee on a stick right? And um, so you had we had blood tests run and all the things and sure enough levels were dropping at a rapid rate and on July fourth we miscarried our baby and it was definitely one of the most difficult times that we dealt with. Um, but we weren't going to give up and we tried again and um, we were so excited and got pregnant a few months later and went through the whole thing again and miscarried and this happened 4 different times and. So we had a total of 4 babies that we miscarried and it was just an anomaly like to backtrack. We went to 40 different doctors. We were so passionate about like there is what is the reason we didn't just sit around and you know like oh hum it'll happen again like no was like no, there's something that must be wrong.

15:11.78
Joy
Or what is it because I want to be a mom and we travel date different states like we went to California Florida Ohio you know obviously Indiana Illinois just different places trying to find physicians that maybe had answers and every time we would have tests on I mean I went gluten free dairyfree vegan you know like. All the different things tried so many different supplements at the beginning. We were very very western. We were looking into ivf. Yeah and that was a hard moment when we went to a clinic in Illinois and after like having so many miscarriages the doctors like well I don't even know why we would do ivf and I don't know what her. Situation was because all that she was saying was just terrible and she said you know most likely if you were to even carry a baby. It would probably have some major chromosome issues so you know it was just this terrible result of what we were not expecting to hear. And I just remember leaving and getting in the car and just looking out the window and just it was a rainy day and I am just bawling my eyes out. We're both crying on the way home because we're thinking what in the world that was that was news that we weren't expecting we were going there. Hoping to process with ivf. Yeah, and you know, but no hope of even carrying a baby and if we did then it would have some major issues and couldn't even live maybe and we're like why and but there wasn't anything in my documents of my notes or my blood work or anything that showed that would be what would happen. This doctor was just assuming because of so many miscarriages and so that's when we became a little bit more naturally minded and which I'm so thankful for because that's just a total different branch in our life. Um, and you don't kept trying but again just kept continuing to miscarry and then there came a point where.

16:59.62
Joy
Each miscarriage was different. Um, you know you would go into it I think the first one we were just so happy to get pregnant and we are the type of people that we believe that every moment that I'm carrying a Baby. We want to rejoice and so we were not opposed to telling people and with that like. I Want people to know you know like so they can kind of be excited and then there is a loss.. It's you know where and I I guess I wasn't the type of person that someone came out to me to say like oh you don't congratulation your baby that I wouldn't be like oh I passed away like I was okay to say that if that were to be the news. Um, but every miscarriage was different like.

17:37.25
Joy
Again, the first one was exciting and the second one was like okay well that that just happened you know like let's keep doing blood work and let's keep going and the third one I remember that I just became so devastated I remember shutting all the blinds in the house I didn't want any light in the house and that is not my personality. And I didn't want 1 person coming over I literally lived in my pajamas I don't even know if I showered for a week or so I didn't want to eat I didn't had no drive to do anything I had 1 friend that came and lived with me and my husband because he was kind of scared. What was happening and I didn't want family and want anybody around and it was just a really really low time of my life of losing that third baby and I got enough gumption and tried again right? and so then it was the fourth that we miscarried and. I couldn't count anymore I never wanted to pee again on another stick. Even if we got pregnant I just didn't want to know because it was just so devastating about that time as when a friend of mine we were talking and it was her she was giving birth and she. It was kind of a weird I don't know if it was like we were talking about it and she mentioned about her birth and I was like oh that's great and um, she says I asked her to come to the birth I thought I asked her to come you know I don't know what happened but somehow.

18:58.80
Joy
Conversation came up to be at her birth and I was really torn because I'm thinking like man of all the things in the world that I want to do is have a baby of my own I don't know if I want to watch somebody else have a baby and then I thought you know what I love helping people So what if I could be a help to her and.

19:16.79
Joy
I would rather be there just to be an encouragement or whatever it is to her that she needs and so I went and as all things was a home birthr so you know ten years ago a homebir to me would have absolutely terrified me which it did I'm like well it might as well go kill our ourselves now right? You know so.

19:33.87
Joy
I Remember going to the birth and I was kind of nervous. Um, but just seeing how everything was so beautiful and so laid back and so perfect for her right? That was the birth that she chose and people can choose wherever they want and that's the perfect place for her and them. But for her it was to be home and. Just watching this baby come into this world I was just astonished and I knew when I got home that day that that if I could not have a baby of my own if there was for whatever reason we continue to Try. And I just couldn't have a baby I wanted to become a doula I wanted to be what she needed I wanted to give her and women the most beautiful birth experiences and kind of live vicariously through these women in a sense and be able to help them and be there for them as some of the. Scariest moments Sometimes when they're not educated or feeling alone or partners that don't know how to help and encourage and um and it's so crazy to me because so many times people are like oh I don't think a do list for me and I'm like a doula is for you.

20:38.11
Joy
If you are breathing and you are a human being a doula is for you whether you can to have a c-section or an epidural or a natural birth whether it's home or hospital. There's nothing like having that support person there that is so passionate and so in love with you and giving you your birth dreams. And that just started me on a total different mindset of what I really wanted to do in life. And yeah so I within days I applied and became started my certification to become a doula and that's kind of what brought me to where I am now and to look. Back tanya I mean it's definitely one of the most it is 1 of the most difficult things that my husband and myself that we've ever gone through but I it's even doesn't even make sense to say this but I'm grateful for it. I'm grateful for those dark valleys I'm really grateful for those babies that we miscarried.

21:33.69
Joy
Because I never would have known the women that I know today I wouldn't know you I wouldn't be have been at hundreds of births at this time because I would have not even known maybe about this I would have maybe never gone into something like this but really. Determining that you know what there's a bigger purpose to this and there's a bigger passion to me than just what I'm thinking it is all about you know? Um, so it's just been a beautiful door that has opened up and then being a doula is amazing and then two years ago is kind of when I felt called to start my own podcast.

21:59.82
tanyavalentine
Yeah.

22:11.90
Joy
And again fear um thinking it wouldn't do anything or go anywhere. You know all those same things like we're both actually which is so amazing. We're both starting our podcasts at the same time and you know it's just this is like so crazy to me because it's just it took forever to get here.

22:29.20
Joy
And I know that it's just a perfect timing for what it means to be for people. Um, but yeah, and so that's where I wanted to just not be there for like my dua clients but when they have a baby. Well I don't want it to stop there and a lot of my moms. We keep in contact so I was like well let's start some then and so that's kind of where. The whole Mama minded came into being but it's a lot deeper than just that. But that's kind of where Mamma minded happened. So yeah.

22:53.28
tanyavalentine
I Love it and then can you talk about to I Want to talk about your experience with adoption a little bit and then I want you to tell everybody about your son like because that is just so amazing. The story of your son and how he came to be.

23:03.51
Joy
Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, so 4 years no sorry 6 years into being a doula um a client of mine. She contacted me and said her sister. Going to put her baby up for adoption and the story is a lot more ind depth than what even I'm going to go into but because we only have so much time. Um, there's a story upon a story to get us to where we are right now. But um, there was a huge loss that we had in our life two years prior to this phone call of.

23:26.55
tanyavalentine
I'm sure.

23:39.67
Joy
Just devastating us. Um and then almost two years to that timeframe. We hope me that gives me the chills just thinking about that because going back a little bit I was. After this loss had happened I went to a lake and I was just sitting there crying my eyes out and I was like there has to be a reason to this and I felt god just kept giving me the number 2 the number 2 the number 2 and I was like what the number 2 what does this mean and never knew two years later to that day and that timeframe would be when we would be contacted to ask if we could adopt our little girl. Yeah, yeah, and me too. Um, and so we were kind of hesitant because of this other loss that we had had and.

24:27.54
Joy
But I also didn't want it to be if this did fall like go through I never wanted my daughter to look at me or my son to look at me if this did work and say why did you not do anything Mom you're such a planner I mean if you're going to you know like whatever it might be if I'm going to lose a tooth like let's have a party about it. You know like.

24:45.10
tanyavalentine
I Mean yeah.

24:47.30
Joy
You know why did you not tell people you were adopting oh because of fear. No, you know what? I'm like I'm starting to abolish that now and I don't want it to be that my child looks at me and I say oh because I was fearful so we did at Christmas we decided that we were going to tell the family and I was.

25:04.60
Joy
Nervous but I was going to push past it and we made little ornaments with ultrasound of the baby and everybody was just so excited and then January thirteenth we decided to do a gender reveal and again very hesitant but I was like no I want people to be there I would do this. If you know I was expecting or whatever and you know again I don't want fear to be the player of why I don't do stuff and so we had hundreds of people there and we had like a fog machine and we shut all the lights off and then the fireworks started going off and we turned on the smoke in the fog and it was pink and as a baby girl you know and we were just like.

25:39.62
Joy
Dad addict and like so excited. Yeah, and so in the process of this timeframe of adoption I contacted one of my best friends who is an ob b g I n in California and I was like hey so there's this opportunity that we could adopt and i. No, there's this thing called induced lactation. Um, what do you think about looking it up finding more information about it and she's like joy you always get me into these places I was like I know I know and it's not going to stop and she's like you're gonna.

26:11.62
Joy
Cause me to retire as an Ob you know, like because I always like because she had been on this journey with us for so many years she's doing so much research about the infertility. She's doing so much stuff because nobody knew what was going on and so I was literally like a spec I'm like trying to figure this stuff out. So.

26:26.98
Joy
We did. We figured out a protocol for inducing lactation. So even though I didn't carry aurora in my womb when she was to be born I could still nurse her so I went on some birth control and some other medicines to kind of help make my body think I was pregnant for about three months if I were to be on it longer it probably would have helped more with producing more milk and then February came around and we got the call on the seventeenth that the mom was in labor and I was like ecstatic so we ended up meeting her at the hospital. Um. And the story again is very crazy again. The mom kind of changed her mind in the middle of birth and labor. Um, and again we were devastated like um, you know, um, but ended up after the baby was born. She looked at me and she's like go get your baby.

27:21.00
Joy
And she knew that you know it was the right time to do this and so and she she had a lot of situations going on in her life. Um that she didn't really have a choice by the state and just different things like that to make this decision. So she wanted to choose who her child was going to be adopted by which is just beautiful. You know another gift to this precious baby? Um, so I walked to the warmer and you know the nurse which is one of my great friends now she's like congratulations Mama here's your baby and just.

27:56.97
Joy
Picking up aurora for that first time and they took us to our own room and you know I sat in the bed and we were able to do the nursing and she latched on right away which was just so crazy for like first time mom and all this stuff and we actually nursed till she was two and a half which was.

28:16.36
Joy
Ah, amazing. You know? Yeah yeah, so um, it was super cool. But yeah, we knew and even now like we know we want to have a large family and we are if people want to. There are no people that want to adopt like we're like yes we want to adopt as many babies because our hearts are just full for children and to love them. Um, and so it kind of like switched where last year we were supposed to go visit my brother and he contacted me. Was leaving in two weeks and he contacted me on a Saturday he's like joy I hate to do this to you. But if you can would you ever be willing to postpone to August and I was like oh come on. You know, like we're so so excited about seeing you know like all these things like well we just bought a house and you're going through a lot of stuff and so we're like okay so. Then I'm like searching now it's Sunday morning and I'm like well we can cancel our flights or postpone. Whatever but where are we going to go for spring break and so I'm like scrolling and all of a sudden Cancun comes up and it's $137 round trip per person like well why not. And so I'm like looking and then all of a sudden it hit me two years ago 1 of my good friends did something called embryo adoption or snowflake baby where they adopted an embryo and ever since we had heard about that our hearts just beat a little faster. You know like.

29:37.00
Joy
This opportunity to do this and I contacted her and she gave me specific and specific information and so that Monday the next day I called the clinic in Cancun and was like hey this is weird I said we can come to Cancun in two weeks and

29:55.70
Joy
I want to do embryo adoption. My husband and I and kind of gave him the story of our infertility. Um, and she's like well you know we don't usually do it that fast. It's she's like the soonest I think we can get you in his April and I was like I understand I was like do you mind just talking to the doctor and I don't even know why I was so bold to say that and so she did. And in the in the meantime I know and in the meantime I was at work that day and the lady I worked for because I was teaching homeschool so I was in the school systems for 12 years and then I literally one day my principal because I'm very outside the box and my kids were excel they were doing amazing.

30:15.10
tanyavalentine
Ah I Love it.

30:32.80
Joy
And he came and he was like just really getting on my case and I was like you know what I don't know what is going on in your brain. But I'm like these kids are doing amazing. Your kids are scoring very high on all testings because I think outside the box and I think he just didn't prefer me in general and that's fine too because this is just my you know, whatever audios and.

30:39.10
tanyavalentine
Ah.

30:51.13
Joy
Um, like you know I think outside of the box and he's like well you need to find your box and I was like oh well, you're going to find yourself your own a new teacher and so I resigned and because I knew there was more to my education and teaching children and that wasn't going to have to be sitting behind the desks or whatever. This.

31:07.69
Joy
Environment was and then I started homeschooling families and I've done that for the past four years um and so that's when this mom came to me and she's like hey you know we're going on vacation and and it was the exact days that we were going to Cancun but it was the fact that she's like but they're extending their stay like almost a week. Which was crazy because if this were to work out I would need to be in Cancun for two weeks so it was just so crazy and then the clinic called me back that day and they're like if this lady the secretary. She's so sweet. Her name was Elizabeth and she's like hey I don't know this is strange I talked to the doctor and he says he thinks we should do it.

31:45.72
Joy
And if you can be here in two weeks we'll start the procedure um and kind of go from there and I'm like okay this will be great. You know and and he's like and on top of it. We're going to do a natural cycle where usually moms have a lot of medicines and stuff like that and I was like.

31:54.30
tanyavalentine
Yeah.

32:01.94
Joy
But he knows my situation right? She goes I know I explained it to him but he thinks he's going to do it naturally and I'm like ok so um, it was just so crazy case by case like I ended up going to a birth and in the meantime I talked to a lady who's in obg ran again a friend of mine and. Um, she's like joy get to my office tomorrow. We're going to get all this blood work. All the ultrasounds all this stuff done so we can get you there and that just doesn't happen. I mean it's very difficult to get into an oe's office and so she just was amazing and so yeah, we left a few weeks later went to Cancun and um.

32:33.51
Joy
It was just a really cool experience. It was absolutely amazing I Felt so loved I Actually cried when I was on the operating table because I felt so loved and that morning the lady I had said something about a song and it's like um, the ah the God of miracles and.

32:48.98
Joy
As I was going in for the procedure in the background was the song the god of miracles that they were playing and yeah, yeah, it was just such a beautiful thing and they actually took video of it like if you go to my Instagram Facebook and Tiktok I think you'll see like the.

33:08.98
Joy
Actual footage of them taking the 2 fetuses that we had the 2 embryos and embryos not fetus I guess at that time but the 2 embryos and um in a petri dish and putting him into a syringe and then taking it to the doctor and then the doctor inserts it and the crazy thing about this is. When the baby has life like when it gets into the womb a light goes off and I have it on video where you see the moment that Kodiak and this other baby like get into the womb and the light goes off and staying that you know there it is the baby's right, there. Um, which is just so cool. So we ended up staying there for a few more days and then headed home. Um, a few weeks into it I started bleeding really bad and you know worst case we thought we were miscarrying and we were and we ended up losing one of the embryos.

34:04.48
Joy
And you didn't know if it was both or you know, whatever. But yeah, it was just a crazy long story pregnancy was a little bit on the more difficult side ended up having to be on blood thinners and all kinds of fun things. Um, but yeah at thirty six weeks my water broke and he.

34:22.45
Joy
You know I labored for literally just a few hours and it probably was because it was thirty six weeks and I wasn't prepared for that so we are running up our flight of stairs 5 times because we did plan a homebirth. Um, yeah so all of our stuff was upstairs and we didn't have running water yet

34:37.99
Joy
And that wing of the house and so my husband and I are like running to move everything downstairs and so then within moments my labor started and then at 80 m um I started to like you know, get a little bit more intense and then by Eleven o'clock I started pushing and then he was born a little after 1

34:55.33
Joy
So and his story is amazing to another time another place just how he was a miracle and was 100% im mortaltity because he was fossip previa and you know just crazy his accord in assertion wasn't into the placenta was actually into the bag of the water and yeah.

35:14.88
Joy
Nobody caught it I'd had Mris and nobody saw it um Mris which is just crazy. Um, but we're just so thankful he's here. So for sure a miracle.

35:25.36
tanyavalentine
Yeah, because what would have happened had they have caught it ahead of time.

35:32.59
Joy
Well I would have had a c-section at thirty five weeks um because it is common for ivf to sometimes go into labor 36 thirty seven weeks so to not have that happen. They want to do a c-section at thirty five weeks and because what happens is that when the bag of water breaks because.

35:50.58
Joy
the um the bilical not the umbilical cord but the veins and the arteries that are running through the placenta that are actually in the bag of water can be by his head and underneath his head and so we are so lucky that fortunate I should say um. God's hand was on us because if I would have gone in at that time. Um, again, we had been planning a homebirth and my doctor knew that we were as well and um, they my 1 doctor told me like you're so fortunate. You didn't go in because if they were to like check you.

36:23.71
Joy
And your cervix they could have nicked one of those arteries and you both would have hemorrhged and you know and what had happened is my water broke. Originally it was just the coreion which is your first bag sometimes they break together but because it was just my coreion that if I were to go in and they were like oh you still have your water intact and if they would have broken it again. It could have.

36:26.91
tanyavalentine
Wow.

36:43.53
Joy
Cause Both of us are hemorrhage. Um, so it was just such an anomaly and he spun an opposite direction which usually babies spun clockwise though he could go around all the cords in the arteries and um, again, it's It's a huge mortality for babies to be born vaginally. Um, with this condition and yeah, but he came out and just crazy and when they showed me my placenta. It was just yeah, when they showed me in Placenta. It was the craziest thing to see like the cord insertion in this bag this thin membrane.

37:08.10
tanyavalentine
Um, what a miracle.

37:19.20
Joy
And then it was like he was so determined then like from there the veins and the arteries were so determined that you could see the determination of these veins like as they sprouted out and just created like a web around the back of water to find source of life for the placenta.

37:38.83
Joy
And they did you know, but like just um, so perfect where his head came through and you could see where it broke in between the arteries and the veins. Um and he was born. So yeah, pretty pretty amazing for sure.

37:51.42
tanyavalentine
Oh there, you go my friends like proof miracles do happen. Oh my gosh we have gone I know I wanted to keep it at 30 minutes and like do you guys see why I love her like she is just so awesome I love you joy? um.

37:56.69
Joy
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

38:09.35
tanyavalentine
I know and maybe we can have you back because I know we're on a time limit here. So Maybe we can have you back another time or you guys can check out I'm going to have you tell us all your information where people can find you I know you have podcasts I know you're on all the social platforms. It sounds like um. But yeah, you guys can learn more about joy and her business and her dua services. Um, yeah, just check her out so joy can you can you share? Thank you so much again for coming on I have so much more I want to talk to you about. But yeah, maybe we can.

38:35.48
Joy
Yeah.

38:45.38
Joy
Yeah, we will. We'll figure out a time we'll figure out another time for terror and then you'll be on mine so we'll go back and forth. Um, yeah so on Facebook it.

38:46.37
tanyavalentine
Have you on another podcast. Yes and I want. Yeah yes, yes, and people can learn more about go ahead.

38:57.78
Joy
Yeah on Facebook you know I have my name joy moffin zak and then we have the birth page joy and Birth Doula um then the mama minded is the Facebook page that we have and then um, Instagram's also under mama minded and Tiktok as well. Then we'll have these mom and mind podcasts starting to be aired in October about the same time as you so you can find the mama minded on all the podcast platforms. Um, and it'll also be aired via like rumble and Youtube just for the moms that actually like to like watch the videos. Um, and we'll also do a blog that have a friend of mine that'll write that up for us so it'll kind of be hitting all the layers of moms that like to read those that like to listen and those that like to watch. So yeah, everything is under Mama minded. Yeah.

39:46.98
tanyavalentine
More from I Love it. Ah, thank you so much joy. Ah I know that you're gonna give other women out there. A lot of hope and inspiration and you guys really go you.

39:53.51
Joy
Absolutely.

40:01.94
tanyavalentine
Go check her out. She is such a joy all right I'll talk. We'll talk to you later  bye.

40:02.22
Joy
Yeah, absolutely thanks time. Yeah, thank you.

So what did you think? What I want you to take away from this episode is not to let perfect opportunism or comparison get in the way of you pursuing your soul's desire. Don't compare yourself to anyone else or even an ideal version of the person you think you should be. It's a built in defense mechanism that is designed to protect us because if we don't leave the proverbial cave we've been living in Meaning, if we don't take risks in pursuing what it is we want, then we will stay safe. But what do we miss out on when we stay in the cave?
What do we miss out on when we don't put ourselves out there? We miss out on life in the miracles and beauty available to us. Yes, we could get hurt. But nothing in life is permanent. Everything is always changing, always evolving, and on the other side of that hurt and discomfort is life's many wonders.
And when we can detach from the outcomes being exactly what we had envisioned and we can just let go, let God and trust that life is happening for us, not to us. It's not about the destination, but who we become on our journey to get there. Then we can live a more peaceful, fulfilling life. My friend, life will always present us with challenges. But within those challenges, there's an opportunity to discover beauty and tap into your inner strength.
Take back the reins from that scattered mind bleed with love from your heart and know that you have the power to handle any challenge life throws your way. Until next time, stay strong, stay focused stay committed and have an amazing week with your family. And if you found this show valuable, Could you do me a favor and leave me a quick rating and review? It would mean the world to me. This helps more people find the show.
So I can help and support more amazing moms just like you.

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