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Last week I talked about the one thing you didn't know was causing your exhaustion, indecision. I spoke about how making decisions gives us power and how indecision exhausts our power, leaving us drained. What I want to talk about this week is decision fatigue, what it is, and 5 tips to prevent it.
An article from the American Medical Association describes decision fatigue as "a state of mental overload that can impede a person's ability to continue making decisions". When we make a decision, energy is released. But every decision we make costs us precious brain power. Our days are filled with decisions to make like what to eat, what to wear, what's the next task we need to work on. Decisions are unavoidable. How can one reduce decision fatigue so that when it's time to make the more important decisions, we have the brain power necessary to do so?
MAKE DECISIONS AHEAD OF TIME (AKA PLANNING).
This is probably, I would argue, the single most important thing you can do to combat decision fatigue. This is because you are deliberately making decisions when you are in a peak state. That way as things come up and the inevitable stressors of the day start to wear on you, you won't have to waste any valuable energy making decisions, all you need to do is follow your plan.
You are going to want to do this when you are in a peak state. What time of day do you feel at your best? Is it in the morning before the kids wake up? Or are you more of a night owl and prefer to work after the kids are in bed? Whichever category you fit into, that's when you are going to do your planning. And if you can do it with the kids around, more power to you, but I prefer to do it when it is silent and I can concentrate. Below is a list of things that you can plan ahead of time:
Food. Plan your meals ahead of time. I recommend writing this out so you don't forget. You could create a menu for both you AND the kids for the week. This can help save you time and frustration when your kids want to argue about what's for breakfast/lunch/dinner. With the menu, they know ahead of time that's what they're getting, and that's it. Yes, there are going to be times when they are still going to argue, but I think you will find there will be less of an argument when they know what to expect. I don't know if your kids are like mine, but sometimes when I ask them what they want to eat it's like I'm talking to a wall. Kids get decision fatigue, too, and they can get overwhelmed with too many options. So make the decision for them ahead of time.
What to wear. Did you know that some of the most brilliant and innovative people will take the decision of what to wear completely off the table by wearing essentially the same thing all the time? Take Steve Jobs, the co-founder of Apple, for example. He was known for his signature look: a black turtleneck, a pair of jeans and New Balance sneakers is what he would wear most days. Albert Einstein would wear a version of the same grey suit because he didn't want to waste any brain power choosing an outfit each morning. You could plan either the night before what you and your kids will wear, or you could even take some time at the start of your week to plan what you want to wear each day of the week. It's putting time in at the start of your week that will help save you time and energy in the future. I love the idea of spending time with your kids at the beginning of the week and allowing them to help pick out their outfits for the week (if planning a week's worth of outfits is overwhelming to you, just pick out the outfit for the next day).
Activities. Plan your activities/tasks at least one day ahead of time so you never start your day without a plan of what you will be doing. I recommend making a schedule for yourself. Personally, I like using Google calendar and time blocking everything. That way I never have to worry about prioritizing what I should be doing next, I just follow my calendar knowing that the decision has already been made and all I have to do is follow what's on my calendar. THIS IS A GAME CHANGER! It's also great because when someone asks you to do something for them, there's no going back and forth whether or not to say "yes". The answer is going to be an automatic "no" because you made the decision ahead of time what you will be doing for the day/week and that thing isn't on it. I'm not saying that there is something wrong with doing anybody favors. But I think we all get into a habit of saying "yes" to too many things because we don't want to disappoint others, but in the end what we end up doing is disappointing ourselves. We get so overwhelmed with the commitments we made to others that we forget about the commitments we make to ourselves. I think that you will find planning your time like this helps you feel more organized, calm, focused, and fueled with energy to take on any challenge that comes your way. Organizing time like this is something I help clients do in my coaching program, so if you need help with this click here to schedule a free 30 minute mini session.
2. AUTOMATE TASKS.
Brainstorm a list of anything in your life that you can make automatic (this is keeping with the idea of making decisions ahead of time). One suggestion I have is to follow a morning and bedtime routine. This eliminates the decision making of what comes next for both you and the kids. Get really good at sticking to the same routine everyday and the kids will eventually be doing it on their own. I got the idea of a routine flip chart from Pinterest and the kids found it quite fun actually. Click here for the link to the routine flip chart.
There are so many options to automate these days. You can automate when your bills get paid. You can even make shopping easier by automating purchases of essentials like diapers, wipes (I use Hello Bello for this but you could also use Amazon), cleaning supplies (I like Branch Basics, their products are hypoallergenic and toxin free), dog food (we use chewy.com).
3. LIMIT OPTIONS. Have you ever been to a restaurant with a ridiculously large menu? Think about how long it took you to make a decision of what to eat vs. how quick the decision is made when you eat at a restaurant with a very limited menu. This is why it helps to limit our options, it minimizes overwhelm and speeds up the decision making process, conserving energy.
You could make your food super boring. You could literally eat the same thing every day, or if you feel you need more variety, try eating the same thing for breakfast every day.
decide on a select group of stores you will shop at
limit the number of activities you have your kids signed up for. Do they really need to be involved in baseball, soccer, dance, gymnastics, STEM, AND piano?
4. CREATE PROTOCOLS. Protocols are a set of rules. You decide on what you will do ahead of time given a particular circumstance. So for example, you could have a sick kid protocol. When our kids are sick there are so many decisions we wrestle with, aren't there? Do you take them to the Doctor, or let it ride out? Do I need to keep them home from school? Do you skip the birthday party they were so looking forward to? I feel like COVID added another layer of complexity to this. I know when I was a kid at least, we would go to school all the time if we had a cold. Now your kid has a minor symptom of a runny nose and we are faced with more decisions. Does he/she need to be tested for covid? Do we wear a mask or not? What is the right thing to do? It can be exhausting. You could create a protocol to help. Maybe you make the decision that you don't get your kids tested for covid unless it's recommended by the pediatrician. Maybe you keep your kids home when they exhibit ANY symptom of being sick. Maybe your protocol is that a runny nose is fine, but if its accompanied by a cough or fever you are keeping them home. This is just an example of what a protocol could be, but you could create one for anything. You could use a protocol for disciplining kids; like when they hit, kick, scratch, or bite, there is a certain consequence for that behavior.
This is a small sample of things that you can do to simplify your life and reduce decision fatigue. It takes a little bit of time and effort on the front end, but you will find that it is worth it later when you have more time and energy to spare. Also, the more you do it, the easier and quicker the planning process will be.
I hope this has been helpful to you! Please feel free to reach out with any questions or feedback! I would love to hear from you! DM me on IG at tanyavalentinecoaching. Or on FaceBook at Tanya Valentine Coaching. Have an amazing week!
With so much love, respect and admiration,
Tanya :)
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