Episode 108: The Routines That Hold Me Together When Life Falls Apart
- Tanya Valentine
- Mar 17
- 5 min read
The Routines That Hold Me Together When Life Falls Apart
Episode 108 of The Mom-entum Podcast
If you’ve ever felt like mom life can fall apart at any moment, you’re not alone.
Kids get sick. Plans change. Someone spills something. Someone else is crying. And somehow the entire day can unravel before you’ve even had a chance to drink your coffee.
But one thing I’ve learned over the years is this:
Routines aren’t about being perfect.They’re about preparing you for the unpredictable moments you can’t control.
When you have supportive routines in place, they become the foundation that holds your life together when things get hard.
This episode is part of our 8-week series on routines, and today I’m sharing something very personal — the routines that help me stay grounded even when life gets messy.
Where We Are in the Routine Series
Over the past few weeks on the podcast, we’ve been building a foundation for understanding routines and how they can transform your day-to-day life.
Here’s a quick recap:
Week 1: Why you often feel scattered and how supportive rhythms create more clarity in your day.
Week 2: The hidden cost of not having intentional routines — and how daily habits are either supporting your life or quietly working against you.
Week 3: Why most routines fail and how to build routines that actually stick.
Week 4: How calm, organized people structure their days so they feel steady instead of constantly overwhelmed.
Week 5 (today): The routines that hold me together when life falls apart.
Routines Prepare You for the Hard Moments
Recently I heard a story that perfectly captured this idea.
A friend of one of my favorite Peloton instructors, Jess Sims, had just received a health diagnosis. She said something like:
"How could this be happening? I've been taking such good care of myself."
And the response Jess gave her was powerful.
The message was essentially:
Your healthy habits didn’t fail you.They were preparing you for this moment.
Because she had spent years taking care of her body, she now had the strength and resilience to face what was ahead.
That perspective really stuck with me.
Because routines work the same way in everyday life.
They aren’t just about productivity.
They’re about building the mental and emotional strength that helps you handle life’s curveballs.
A Real Mom-Life Moment
Recently, I experienced one of those classic mom-life moments.
I had just picked up my daughter Serena from school. The older kids were still at school, and Serena had fallen asleep in her car seat — which happens pretty often.
When I went to take her out, I realized she had completely soaked her car seat.
And honestly, the only thing I wanted at that moment was lunch. I hadn’t eaten all day.
But instead of getting frustrated, I just jumped into action.
I put her in the bathtub and started removing the car seat from the car.
And as I lifted it out… there was so much pee in the seat that it spilled into the car and onto the garage floor.
So now I’m cleaning:
The car seat
The car floor
The garage
Not exactly how I planned to spend my afternoon.
But something interesting happened.
Instead of getting angry or overwhelmed, I found myself thinking:
I’m grateful we have a washer and dryer.
I’m grateful we have an extra car seat.
This is inconvenient, but it’s manageable.
And that’s when it hit me.
The reason I handled that moment so calmly is because of the routines I practice every day.
My Morning Routine Is My Armor
My morning routine is like putting on armor for the day.
It prepares me mentally, emotionally, and physically for whatever might happen.
And I’m not perfect. I still have moments where I lose patience.
But I know without a doubt that I’m calmer and more level-headed when I start my day with intention.
That’s why my morning routine is non-negotiable.
My 4:45 AM Morning Routine
Here’s what my morning routine currently looks like.
But before I share it, I want to be clear about something:
You do not need to copy my routine.
When I first started, my routine was simply a 20-minute workout in the morning.
Over time, I slowly built on that foundation.
Here’s what I do now.
1. Wake Up at 4:45 AM
I get out of bed before my brain has time to negotiate with me about staying under the covers.
2. Five Minutes of Gratitude
I write down everything I’m grateful for.
Simple things like:
My health
My family
My home
My faith
Electricity and running water
The everyday comforts we often take for granted
This immediately shifts my mindset from scarcity to abundance.
3. Five Minutes of Thought Work
This is where I intentionally direct my thinking for the day.
I use a coaching framework that helps me identify:
The results I want to create
The actions required to get there
The emotions and beliefs that will help me take those actions
If you want to learn more about this process, listen to the episode:“A Step-by-Step Guide to Solve Any Problem.”
4. Movement
Next I do a 30-minute Peloton workout, followed by stretching.
Movement gives me energy and helps clear my mind before the day begins.
5. Prayer and Meditation
Finally, I spend:
5 minutes in prayer
5 minutes in meditation
This is a quiet moment to connect spiritually and create calm before the day gets busy.
The Three Foundations of My Routine
At its core, my routine really comes down to three simple practices:
Gratitude
Movement
Prayer or meditation
When you take care of your mind, body, and spirit, you dramatically increase your capacity to handle whatever the day brings.
Your Routine Doesn’t Have to Look Like Mine
Your routine should be built for your life, not mine.
Different schedules, different seasons of motherhood, and different energy levels all matter.
The goal isn’t perfection.
The goal is to create a routine that helps you:
Feel grounded
Increase your emotional capacity
Respond to life instead of reacting to it
Download My Free Morning Routine Guide
If you want help creating a routine that works for your life, I’ve created a free Morning Routine Guide.
Inside the guide you’ll learn:
The exact routine I follow
Questions to help you design your own
How to create a “minimum version” of your routine for busy days
Even when life is chaotic, having a simple routine you can fall back on builds trust with yourself.
You can download it here:tanyavalentinecoaching.com
Coming Soon: My First Live Routines Workshop
I also have an exciting announcement.
Soon I’ll be hosting my first live webinar all about routines.
During this workshop we’ll:
Walk through exercises together
Build routines that actually work for your life
Help you create structure that makes your days calmer and more manageable
You’ll be able to join live and create your routines right there with me.
Spots will be limited, so keep an eye on your email and my social media for registration details.
Final Thoughts
Routines aren’t about control.
They’re about capacity.
They increase your ability to handle life’s challenges without feeling like everything is falling apart.
Because when life gets messy — and it always does — your routines are the foundation that keep you steady.
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