If You Are Tormented With Mom Guilt You Must Read This

You feel like you need to get everything done; cleaning, errands, projects, work tasks, bringing the dog to the vet, oh ya and there's the relationship with your partner that you probably should nurture because as they say "the health of everything depends on your health as a couple", and can't forget to squeeze in some self care. You want to give your children the attention they need but how can you possibly when there's just so much to do?

You feel bad asking for help because you don't want to burden anyone, and let's face it, there is this pressure to "do all the things". We are striving to meet this ideal standard that has been programmed in our minds by society and passed on through generations. But when you remove the influence of the outside world, have you ever once stopped to think about and decide for yourself what is the ideal standard you are trying to meet?

So you do your chores, you go to work, and you feel guilty you're not giving your children enough attention. When you are with your kids you're not present because you are thinking about your massive to do list. What's the solution? The objective of this post is to open your eyes to the TRUTH so you can start having more compassion for yourself, and open your mind and heart in a way that will allow you to access the inner wisdom that has all the answers just waiting for you.

When it comes to your children, one mantra I suggest you steal is this one:

It's about the QUALITY of time, not the QUANTITY.

There is a balance, a natural order to life. We can't spend every waking hour with our children. I think we all know this, but we need to be reminded. There are things that we would like to get done in order to provide a good life for our babies. You want to feed your child? It takes time to plan meals, do the grocery shopping, prepare the meal and clean up. You want your kids to wear clean clothes? You are going to have to spend some time doing laundry. You want to be able to provide for them (purchase necessities, pay for activities or experiences, save for college), then you have to work to earn an income.

Many times this guilt we have comes from the thought, "I'm not doing enough for them". And what I want to tell you is YOU ARE DOING ENOUGH. You are. It's true. The fact that you care enough to want to give more and strive to be better for your child is enough.

Take a moment right now and identify what "doing enough" means for you. Without anyone else's influence. Close your eyes, place your hands on your heart, and ask yourself, "what's enough?" Maybe you will realize enough is making sure your children know that you love them, showing them affection, making sure their fed, and doing your best to protect and teach them.

If at the end of the day you are feeling disappointed about how you showed up with your kids today, guess what. TOMORROW IS A NEW DAY. You will get another try at it tomorrow. Ask yourself, "What is one thing I can learn from today that I could improve on tomorrow?" We all make mistakes. You don't have to make it mean that you're a bad Mom, or you're doing it wrong, or you're not doing enough. Just that you want to improve. This is Earth School and we are taking this course called Motherhood and it is challenging AF. There is ALWAYS going to be room for improvement. We learn so much about them, but we also learn so much about ourselves in the process.

Here are 6 actionable steps you can take to alleviate the mom guilt:

1. Tell yourself "I'm doing the best I can with what I know and with the resources I have available to me at this moment".

2. Define what "enough" is for you.

3. Look for evidence how you are doing enough.

4. Decide how much time and when you want spend quality time with your kids each day. (note: it doesn't have to be a lot. Just 15-20 minutes of time where ALL OF YOUR FOCUS IS ON THEM.)

5. Schedule the time on your calendar.

6. During the QT with your kids, put your phone away. Don't think about all of the things you need to do. Your brain will want to go there because it's well practiced at that. But when you notice your mind start to wander, don't judge yourself, just bring yourself back to this moment with your child. This might feel uncomfortable at first, but the more you do it the better you will get at it.

Good luck with this my friends! Please reach out to me and let me know if this has helped. You can find me on IG @tanyavalentinecoaching or on FB as Tanya Valentine Coaching

If you would like more one on one help with this, or if you need help managing your time, meeting your weight loss goals, you need assistance setting goals, creating a plan and achieving that goal, I GOT YOU SISTER. For a limited time I am offering a free 30 minute mini coaching session on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Coaching has had such a profound impact on my life and I would love to get to share the transformational magic of coaching with you! Click here to book your free 30 minute mini session!